Thomas Jefferson Duality

Jefferson’s Most Unlikely Advocate
I regained awareness with the sharp and distinct neck-pain familiar to anyone who has nearly fallen asleep while sitting up. As I checked around to see if Mr. McManus or any of my fellow students had noticed my lapse, I realized that the class was otherwise engaged in heated debate concerning the question of Thomas Jefferson’s character in regards to hypocrisy. Just days ago, I had passionately committed my own position to paper for McManus, convicting Jefferson on the duality of his position regarding slavery. As the stinging in my neck gradually subsided, my subconscious allowed to the surface of my mind a sort of dream sequence or thought process which to this day haunts shapes my considerations of Jefferson’s worth.
When called on to present my own case I was dumbstruck. How could I possibly represent Jefferson as worthy of heaven without simultaneously condemning myself as a hypocrite of equal measure? Perhaps it was Satan’s arrogance that prevented him from objecting as I implored God for a brief recess so that I might compose an argument which might justify His including me in theseproceedings. Perhaps it was characteristic justice having appointed me this task Himself, or perhaps it was simply His nature to allow this small measure of grace, but either way a short delay was granted by The Almighty that I might prepare.
Once permission was granted, I was escorted by Saint Peter to separate quarters very like a small study where he suggested I begin my preparations at once. Peter explained that I would be allowed two hours to prepare a legal brief. At my disposal for this purpose were a copy of American Sphinx, by Joseph J. Ellis, a personal computer equipped with internet access, and a Bible. As Peter left, he pointed to a portable CD player and with a sly wink suggested that if I worked best while listening to music, this too was here for my benefit.
In desperation I turned to the internet, reluctantly typing a...