Who's Death Note Is It Anyways? *Not Written by Me~*

Who’s Death Note is it anyway?
      
      By Kelsey Mitchell and Natalie Jennings
      
      Warning: The characters are out of…character. And we don’t own Death Note, though we wish like every other fan.
      
      
      *Enter Light in a plaid suit onto the game show set. Behind each contestant platform stands a non-chalant Near, an aggravated Mello, and a twitchy L. The camera men aim their cameras on Light as he struts onstage*
      
      Light: Hello and welcome all to the greatest game show on earth: Kill That Man!! Today’s contestants are Near!
      Near: ….
      Light: Mello!!!
      Mello: Why are we here?!
      Light: And L!
      L: Why was there no cake backstage on that food bar?  *twitching* It had nothing but fruit. Fruit! * more twitching*
      Light: Before we begin the game, let’s get to know our contestants! * walks over to Near’s pedestal * Near, how are you today?
      Near: …
      Light: okay…Where you from?
      Near: The Wammy House.
      Light: What is that, like some Whack-a-Mole game? * chuckles at his own bad pun *
      Near: …* takes out Optimus Prime action figure and throws it at Light’s head * PEARL HARBOR!
      Light: * ducks * WTF?! You little brat, what was that for?! * points finger at Near’s face *
      Near: * chomps down on Light’s unfortunate finger *
      Light: GAH! HE BIT ME!! HE FREAKIN’ BIT ME!! IT HIT THE BONE!!! RIGHT THROUGH THE BONE!!!! AHHH, IT HURTS!!
      L: Near! Spit that out right now, you don’t know where it’s been!!
      Near: M’kay. * spits out mauled finger *
      Light: * in a low tone to self * I hate kids. Freakin’ kid’s from Village of the Damned. I sware.
      Near: * stare * …..
      Light: Stop trying to control my mind!! * clears throat * Next contestant…Mello!! So how are you today little girl!
      Mello: * murderous glare * I’m not a little girl.
      Light: So, what, are you a tranny?
      Mello: NO!! SCREW YOU!! * takes out bar of...