Fluidity

January 15, 2010

To Whom It May Concern:

Just the other day my guidance counselor said, “Nick, you’re like liquid, you flow smoothly in and out of three languages and cultures.” At first I wasn’t too sure I wanted to be compared with liquid, like a puddle of muddy water or a glass of milk, but the more I considered her words, the more I realized that her metaphor is descriptive of my experience, and how I’ve learned to adapt because of my multicultural environment.

I was born to a Korean mother and a North American father, both of whom were called as missionaries to China. From an early age I remember wrestling with by siblings and my father on the floor of our small, cramped Chinese apartment. Many adults in my life have remarked, “You are so fortunate to have grown up with three languages and cultures,” or “You should feel really blessed to speak three languages and experience three cultures.” That never made much sense to me. All I knew was that I felt so different from everyone else. I hated that I seemed to have no “real” heritage or nationality. “Am I North American, Korean or Chinese?” Far from feeling blessed or fortunate, I just wanted to fit in.

One question that I despised the most was the one that was seemingly asked most often, “Which country do you like the best—the United States, South Korea or China?” My answer was always different, depending on who I was trying to be at the moment in order to just fit in, or to pretend to fit in. This was my sad existence for so long, mostly because of my inability to fully integrate my three cultures into a singular identity.

It was not until I enrolled in a private international school in China that I began to change, to comprehend what it means, not to live a multicultural experience, but to be multicultural. For the first time I was with other kids my age who were living the same existence; more than fifty cultures were represented in my school. Though some students found it easier to form...