The Old Me

Thank You

When I was just a wee girl, I never seemed to grasp the entire picture. I roamed free, without reprocautions and without fear. The only thing I was worried about is what was for lunch. The only things that were broken were my toys. I was not yet soiled by the unspeakable evils that this Earth possesses. War, greed, cruelty, heartbreak, hunger, pain, death. And as if by some magic trick, when I realized one thing, it was like some unfortunate domino effect crashing down on me, spilling all the horrors of the world down upon my tender soul. All the light switches seemed to click on simultaneously, and I was burned by the immense light that I most definitely not ready for.
I lived a happy childhood yes, I had to grow up faster than most. I had to learn to change diapers, cook, clean, baby-sit, but overall, my young life is filled with good memories. I was a happy little girl, I cannot complain. I was blindly blissful; I believed everything that was preached to me, all that was said. I never gave a second thought to most things. I had a constant blanket of relatives that I wrapped myself around, I did not see the wear and tear, and when I realized, it was far too late. I knew there were “bad” people. I knew that some choose the wrong way. Back then, I could have never fathomed humans committing such acts that bring me to tears now. I was a jolly, dazed, and careless stooge that was in for the surprise of her life.
I was your typical over-achiever. I wanted to be a veterinarian, and I thought nothing in the world could stop me. I strived for my parents’ attention; I wanted to and was the academic best within my family. I did absolutely everything that was ordered of me, I never once stepped out of line. I was “la hija perfecta”, as my parents explained to me. The “perfect daughter” my parents wanted after all the years of high school dropouts and disappointments. I was their outlet of hope. Only when I started to see it that way, is when I started to...