He Who Farts

He Who Farts Hard, Farts Loudest

Males, when it comes to farting, would undoubtedly be the dominant species between the two. We are the masters of dropping our lunch, letting it rip or whatever you prefer to call it. Don't you just love it when somebody lets of fart right in your proximity? These little fart particles are just like little Interceptors, flying through the air and targeting your nasal passages. Then they lock on and fire those stink missiles right up there and then you're your own worst enemy. You breathe in and you suck someone else's foul gas into your own lungs, which mixes in your own bloodstream. Someone ripping a fart is like a dog marking their territory inside your body.
There's nothing worse than when someone goes to the toilet and leaves their utter stench of last night’s meal behind them. Then, it always happens. They think they can make it all better by spraying some air freshener. Instead of making things better, they get worse. The air conditioner goes from unbearable to lethal. When the stench particles combine with the air freshener, it makes a deadly mask that seems to forever hang. Even napalm gas is better than this.
Overall, there are currently only seven commonly know types of farts around the world. The silent fart, shower fart, motor fart, explosion fart, running fart, squeaking fart and the good old Dutch oven. Humans are constantly known to evolve but what isn't mentioned is that the commonly known fart has also evolved. Back in the days of good old England, there was only the petite fart. But now those weaklings have evolved into such beasts as the explosion fart and lethal strains such as the silent but violent fart. There is a very old primitive type of fart that is still common today known as the squeaker. These usually occur in schools when students try to hold it in but it squeezes its way through, to the outside world.
Even though all humans may try, many are unable to control their farts, no matter what the...