Honesty

A lot of people say honesty is the best policy, and you have to speak the truth even if your voice shakes, but something we often forget is who we have to be honest with. It's easy to tell the truth to others because everything we say is a fact, but being honest with ourselves is one of the hardest things we can do. This happens often in love because it's easy to settle but it isn't easy to find someone who is worth it, so we lie to ourselves and say we like the person we're with, until we start feeling empty inside. We feel hollow because day after day because we say we're in love when we're really not, but we just want someone to be there for us.
When I was in 9th grade I was in a very rough patch in my life, and this was mostly because I didn't know who I was. In 7th and 8th grade I was very involved in the theatre department as an actress so I started winning awards, getting bigger roles, going on to bigger productions etc. etc., and I thought maybe that's what I wanted to do with my life. I was planning on moving to New York, studying at NYU, appearing on Broadway, I basically had my whole life planned out, and it was so nice. I didn't have to worry about where I was going, or where I would end up, until high school started. I auditioned for all 4 plays and didn't make it into a single one. Now, this isn't why I felt lost, I felt lost because I realized I didn't make it not because I wasn't good, but because I didn't care about being good. I would barely practice for my audition, I would feel nervous and stressed out, and the day of my audition I wouldn't be excited, I wanted to roll up in a ball and cry. I realized that those 4 years in school plays I was pleasing everyone but myself. Watching my mom cry tears of joy when I got my Best Actress award was enough for me to continue auditioning and going to classes for another 3 years. I guess I kept doing this because it was easy, it came naturally to me, it was rewarding, and isn't that all you need for a job?...