1. Does the essay begin with an introduction?
No, the essay does not begin with an introduction. The writer should research more information on Alwin Ernst to take a more logical approach of what they are trying to persuade or argue in their essay.
2. Can you identify the thesis statement?
I cannot find an argument here. There is no thesis. It seems like chronological order of a short biography. I will suggest gathering more information to argue a point about his success of becoming or being an American Businessman.
3. Does the essay contain at least three body paragraphs?
No, the essay only has two paragraphs without an introduction.
4. Do the body paragraphs relate directly to the thesis statement?
No, there is no thesis so the paragraphs does not relate.
5. Does the essay end with a conclusion?
The writer didn’t conclude this essay. I sense they are lacking in information to tell this story.
6. Does the conclusion refer back to the main idea of the essay?
No, because there is no conclusion.
7. What part of the draft interests you most? Why?
It seems like it could have been an interesting essay if they take the time to read about Alwin Ernst and his journey of becoming an American Businessman. Right now the essay just gives pretty much a life story.
8. Where do you feel you would like more detail or explanation? Where do you need less?
Every part needs more information. I will begin by forming a thesis. Then write an introduction. After that, make every paragraph refer back to the thesis that you are trying to argue. If done accurately, the writer should succeed in forming a great paper.
9. Do you find any parts unclear, confusing, or undeveloped?
No, the two paragraphs I read are pretty clear. They are more focused on his life.
10. Do you see any misspelled words and/or typographical errors?
I will suggest them to take the time to read through it after they...