Genesis

It’s April 1961 and Mom is driving me to Oneonta Nursery School; it’s my first day at in playgroup. I feel unsure and afraid, and I want to go back to bed. I have never played with other kids, only my older sister Laura. When we arrive, Mom introduces me to my new teacher, Mrs. Crane. Mom gives me instructions not to eat the graham crackers or drink the apple juice that the ladies put out at snack time. She makes sure Mrs. Crane knows I have a nervous stomach and can only have animal crackers and water. I want to have the same snack as the other kids; I don’t want to be different, and I want to fit in. Mom then leaves, but I don’t miss her. I feel just as worried when she is with me as when I am alone with the new kids; their faces don’t seem friendly.

    On Sunday nights we watch a TV show called   “Wild Kingdom.” There is this old guy named Marlin, which I think is the name of a big fish. Marlin is always talking about the laws of the jungle, about predators, and prey. I think predators are the bigger animals that kill the smaller ones, so they can feed their families.   The playground at Oneonta reminds me of a jungle. I feel like we have the same laws on the playground that Marlin talks about on his show. Marlin is always talking about how the animals have to “kill or be killed.”  

    I meet my first enemy on the nursery school playground; his name is Doug Kirkwood. Doug is a little older than me, and the other kids follow him around; both the boys and girls seem to like him. I don’t remember anybody teaching me about being a leader, or a popular kid in school. I think it’s like the same thing in the animal world that makes the biggest walrus get to be the bull of the herd. I’m not as big or strong as Doug, so I have to figure out how to make the other kids like me. I’m afraid they won’t think I am fun; I just want to have some friends and feel okay.

    I live on Collis Avenue in El Sereno with my baby brother Greg and my older sister...