Words of Wisdom:

"How you are now may be your parents fault, but if you stay that way its your fault." - Plaildloniart

English Is Such a Stupid Language.

  • Date Submitted: 05/03/2010 09:04 AM
  • Flesch-Kincaid Score: 76.6 
  • Words: 477
  • Essay Grade: 5,00 /5 (1 Graders)
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Is English really stupid or the people that invented the language???

Let's face it: English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger, and neither Pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England; French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth.
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
Why do people Park on driveways and drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out. And a bell is only heard once it goes!

People, not computers, invented English and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all). That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why is it that when I wind up my watch it starts but when I wind up this story it ends?

And there's more...

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are "a wise man" and "a wise guy opposites"?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one, since 22 is pronounced twenty-two?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen...


Express your owns thoughts and ideas on this essay by writing a grade and/or critique.

  1. Well said!
    • Sep 16, 2011 - Evaluator: (MargaretWanjiru)
    • In the case of unknown author versus English Language, I hereby declare the accused GUILTY AS CHARGED!!!!!!!!!