Filling the Gap in My Heart

Flavia Weedn once said that “some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.” Recently I had a life-changing experience that narrates to that notable quote. This experience opened my eyes to a whole other part of me that I never knew about. I learned that giving second chances doesn’t always have an unconstructive outcome and that building relationships aren’t effortless. When I opened my heart I faced a lot of poignant anxiety that guided me to a blissful and rewarding ending that I am grateful for.

Growing up there was always a fraction of my heart absent that I had always wanted to have fulfilled. Not having a father throughout my childhood has put a mild affect on me expressively. In my eyes, having no father for eighteen years meant that it would be too late to ever have one in my life. That emotion came to an end on the day of my high graduation when my biological father showed up on my front porch. I was absolutely stunned and soundless of words. I didn’t recognize him in any way but the reaction that dispersed through my body when I opened that door led me to know that he was my father.

Why was this stranger finally deciding to see his daughter? I kept asking myself that question repeatedly in my mind until we finally got the chance to sit down and converse. He informed me that I had three half siblings which consisted of one brother and two sisters. At that moment I felt left out like as if I didn’t do my role as a big sister all their lives. The hole in my heart seemed to get deeper as he spoke until he finally confessed the real truth to why he had abandoned me for all these years. He began explaining how he had been in prison for the last fifteen years for transporting illegal drugs over the U.S border. There was no method of contacting me and if there was he didn’t want me growing up knowing that my father was incarcerated. At that moment everything seemed to make sense and I actually...