Yo Mama

How could I submit an essay if the only reason I'm signing up is because I need to find an essay for myself. How retarded. Oh well, but this still needs to be 250 words minimum so I might as well have fun with it.. I'll make it up as I go along.

        There once was a   grand maple tree named Entofolugus who was sexually depraved (this is almost as fun as a dirty mad-lib's) and because of this he wouldn't ever go out with his tree-friends to the tree-bar because he would sap in his pants whenever he saw a tree-girl and be embarrassed. So he started wearing tree-diapers, and he came out of his shell, so to speak. He was no longer socially awkward and his range of friends had increased. But one day he met the most stunning tree-woman he'd ever seen. He couldn't help but immediately sap in his pants, as any heterosexual plant would have, at the sight of her. Even his tree-buddies did. The diapers had given him more confidence then he ever had, so he made a bet of 100 leaves to all of his tree-buddies that he could start a conversation with her. He pulled his roots out of his chair and tree-waltzed right over to her. She was so surprised that someone was actually brave enough to talk to her that she immediately gave him a chance. The rest of the night they stayed together and just talked and talked in that old tree-nightclub. His tree-friends were amazed. But as closing time came upon them and he was still with her, she asked if he wanted to go to her own forest and "swish their branches like never before". Of course he accepted and as he walked outside with her he gave a sly grin to his tree-friends. They arrived at her forest. As she started stripping off her bark he was sapping like crazy in that diaper. When she was naked as a birch tree she walked over to him and all of a sudden his diaper exploded with sap and it got all over the both of them. She was disgusted and shooed him out of her forest with only his saggy diaper scraps with him. He spent the rest of...