Diary 1

I would rather to die than to live like that. Everyday is filled with endless eating, meaningless talking, uninteresting people. I am stick to reading, but I can’t escape from a novel once I begtin it . I am so controless, and so easy to be indulged in all the meaningless matter.
  I want to devote myself to reading. I hope I can read and mostly recite all the books I own. I want to be learned. I want to be a scholar. I want to be left alone. Living a life with simple food and plain clothes. In a word, a less material life. However, in order to stand in this society, I have to take excercises to lose weight, I have to be talktive and humor with many so called friends, I have to endure my mother’s endless speaks and my father’s two hours’ dinner.
  Yes, they are my parents and I am their child. However, I no longer agree with them and take their words as if they must be right, for the reason that i, a 24 years old girl , who have received 16 years school education and have read so many masterpiece, have totally changed into a lady with independent thought, especially after expericing four years’ campus life. While, my parents have never changed since 20 years ago. When I was small, they taught me to be honest and humid. They ask me to do whatever they command. They are the gods who decide my happiness and sorrow, for my happiness is theirs and my sorrow is mostly from them. Doing wrong things always bring about mum’s blaming and dad’s fearful esspression. Now I wonder what if they do wrong things. They of course have the power to order me to do or not to do a thing. What if they themselves make the wrong choices which is very possible. Power without limiting will be abused. To a family, I think, it is also true.
  Yes, the world is big and the family is small. A child understands her parents’ hard life so well that she never say anything irrespectable to them even though they sometimes are really weak, mean, too easygoing. I am she. I am painful in heart. I...