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"Success is a journey not a destination." - Papyrus

Model of the Integrited Writing

  • Date Submitted: 08/18/2011 10:46 PM
  • Flesch-Kincaid Score: 59.6 
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Since most people can solve their problems by themselves or with the help from their families, the help from government is often not necessary.# ~0 s- F. Q% B/ @3 O* E' r6 L+ l
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When it comes to by what means individuals use to deal with their problems, some people claim that since most people can solve their problems by themselves or with the help from their families, the help from the government is often not necessary. However, I disagree with it and my reasons are listed as below.
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First of all, when facing big disasters, people extremely need (You are trying to translate 非常需要, aren’t you..but it doesn’t work this way. You can say ‘are in extreme need (of)’ or ‘need …very much’, but not ‘extremely need’.) the government to help them get out of their plight. In Recent years, the increasing frequency of natural disasters, such as earthquakes and floods, has (The subject of this sentence is ‘the increasing frequency’, not ‘disasters’.) caused considerable damage to people’s properties, and many people even lose their homes and friends .Under this circumstance, it is hard for individuals to get through their difficulties without the government‘s help. For example, when the horrible Sichuan Earthquake (Sichuan has had quite some earthquakes in history, and Wenchuan Earthquake is no longer a current event. If it is still current, you can say it’s THE Sichuan Earthquake because everybody automatically knows which earthquake you refer to. But it’s now a past event, so you need more of a context. At the very least, say ‘the Sichuan Earthquake in 2008’. This way, anyone who doesn’t know about this earthquake can at least google.) happened, effective measures were taken by the Chinese government to help people; it made every effort to rescue the injured, provide temporary refuges and distribute necessary food to the refugees. Therefore, without the help of the government, how could...

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