Candynijas

Sitting in my car at a Chevron station near the zoo on a hot summer day. The large, bearded attendant walks up, drenched in sweat.

Beardy Attendant: I hate this weather. They said it was gonna cool off.

WM: It’s supposed to, first day of fall and all.

Beardy Attendant: *Hrumph* Ya right.

I hand him my credit card.

WM: Regular please, and just fill it up.

He ambles to the back of my car, inserts the nozzle, punches some buttons with his huge thumb, and begins filling my tank. He walks back over and hands me my card.

WM: Thanks.

Beardy Attendant: How’s your day been?

WM: Fine…just got off work.

Beardy Attendant: Oh ya? You nearby?

WM: Yup. I work at the zoo.

Beardy Attendant: Oh man, do they still have that day where you only have to pay $4.00 or $2.00 to get in? It gets crazy on those days. I don’t envy you.

WM: Yep, those days are hell.

Beardy Attendant: I remember this one time last month, this minivan pulls in here with these two women in the front seats at like 3:00. They had five kids and a baby in the car! It was like 98 degrees and they were heading to the zoo for that discount day. They asked if I knew about where they could park nearby. I says to them that they don’t have a chance at even getting into the zoo on a day like today because they were too late. Lot would be full and the zoo would be, well, a zoo. Plus it was so hot, none of the animals were gonna be out.

The kids in the back were all riled up and started whining about going to the zoo and seeing animals and these two women looked so disappointed and frankly kinda stressed. So I lean in the driver’s side window and ask, “Has anyone in this car seen the new Harry Potter movie?”

All the kids shook their heads. Well I tell the ladies that I happen to know that the theater over in the Hollywood district happens to have half price movies that day, and boy wouldn’t it be nice to sit in a cool theater for three hours instead of walking through a stinky,...