Building Confidence

Sometimes a lack of self-confidence stems merely from a lack of experience. You may not feel so confident about taking the SAT test or acting in a stage play if you've never done it before. These feelings will change as you grow and experience more things in your life.

Sometimes, however, a lack of self-confidence can stem from feelings of insecurity. Sometimes we have bad feelings about ourselves and we bury them deep inside. When we do this, we tend not to assert ourselves and take chances because we fear our "secrets" will be revealed.

If your lack of self-confidence stems from bad feelings you harbor about yourself, you are also experiencing something perfectly normal and common. But it's a normal feeling that you can and should change!

Identify the Cause for Your Lack of Self-Confidence

If you have a fear that people will see your perceived shortcoming, you will find it difficult to assert yourself. Your shortcoming or vulnerability may have to do with your looks, your size, your perceived intelligence, your past, or your family experience.

In building self-confidence, your first goal is to develop a realistic understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. You’ll have to take a difficult first step and look inside yourself to discover where and why you feel vulnerable.

Face Your Fear Head-On

To get started on your self-exploration, go to a quiet and comfortable place and think about the things that make you feel bad about yourself. These things could stem from your complexion, weight, a bad habit, a family secret, abusive behavior in your family, or a feeling of guilt over something you’ve done. It can be painful to think about the root of your bad feelings, but it is healthy to root out something that is hidden deep inside and to work through it.

Once you have identified the things you feel bad or secretive about, you’ll need to determine what you can do to change them. Should you change your eating habits? Exercise? Read a self-help...