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When U R There

  • Date Submitted: 02/01/2014 06:22 AM
  • Flesch-Kincaid Score: 88.2 
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When You are Three  
Kids! They do stupid things, don’t they? The other night I was watching my three-year-old grandson brush his teeth. Suddenly he picked up the plug out of the sink and studied the water that had accumulated in it. Then, before I could stop him, he drank the water out of the plug!
“Yuk!!” I said, “You don’t drink out of plugs!”
He looked at me and said firmly, “You do when you are three!”
Now, that kid taught me a valuable lesson. Behaviour that would be unacceptable in an adult is perfectly normal in a three-year-old, because that is the stage where they are at the time.
It made me think of some of the stages his father went through. His father, of course, is my son – Joel.
Joel was a perfect baby. I mean “perfect” in the sense that he behaved in the way you would expect a baby to behave.
I would sit him in his high chair and try to spoon food into his mouth – “Here comes the aeroplane”…… but more often it went in his ear, or his hair, or it would be snatched from me and hurled against the wall.
As I said, perfect behaviour – for a baby!
By the time he was 3, he could feed himself, but mealtimes were rather messy. One day after lunch, Joel said, “I knew I shouldn’t have had syrup. Now my legs are stuck together!”
When he was 5, he started to run headfirst into the walls. When asked why, he said, “I asked God to make me into a ghost so I could walk through walls!”
He was 8 when he played cricket in our driveway, using our rubbish bin as a wicket. Our rubbish was spread the full length of the street the day I back the car over the bin.
10 year-olds don’t usually like carol singing, so I should have been suspicious when Joel and his friends wanted to attend “Carols by Candlelight” in the park. I soon found out why. I had to stop them from competing to see who could hold a burning song sheet the longest. The climax of the evening came when our rug caught on fire. Nearby carolers helped to beat out the flames and we made a hasty retreat....


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