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People Have Diffrent Ideas About What Makes a Happy Marriage

  • Date Submitted: 10/25/2015 08:11 AM
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– People have different ideas about what makes a happy marriage. But, for many, the question is one they have not asked themselves. Or at least if they have, they don’t have a definitive answer in mind. So I think it’s worthwhile to look at how other people define a happy marriage.
Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee undertook the task of interviewing successful couples across America to find out how people define a happy marriage. They report their results in a wonderful book called The Good Marriage. Here are the types of things they found that go into the making of a happy marriage:
1. Respect between the partners
2. Each person cherishes the other
3. Each person likes the other
4. Each finds pleasure and comfort in the other’s company
5. Emotional support of each other
6. Mutually satisfying physical intimacy
7. Expression of appreciation between the partners
8. The creation of fond memories
9. A feeling of safety, friendship, and trust
10. A feeling that the spouse is central to his or her world
11. An admiration of positive qualities such as honesty, generosity, decency, loyalty, and fairness
12. A strong sense of morality
13. The conviction that each person is worthy of being loved
14. A sense of reality, in that there are some problems but that they are surmountable
15. A view that each partner is special in some important regard
16. A sense that the marriage enhances each partner
17. The sense that there’s a unique fit between each partner’s needs and the spouse’s willingness and ability
to meet those needs
18. The sense that each partner is lucky to have the other
19. An equitable division of household tasks and childrearing
20. A sense that the success of the marriage is attributable to both partners
21. An ability to express both positive and negative emotions
22. A shared view that the marriage takes constant attention and work
This is quite a list, isn’t it? Surely any couple that has these things has a wonderful, blessed...


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