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He Who Farts Hard Farts Loudest

  • Date Submitted: 01/28/2010 06:29 AM
  • Flesch-Kincaid Score: 68 
  • Words: 1201
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Why cant a weapon be developed upon the flatulence of man. Why do people continue to spray air freshener in the toilet despite making it worse? Nobody knows. It may just well be the nature of man.

Males, when it comes to flatulence would undoubtedly be the dominant species between the two. We are the masters of dropping our lunch, letting it rip or whatever you prefer to call it.

Don't you just love it when somebody lets of flatulence right in your proximity? The little fart particles are just like little F18 Interceptors, flying through the air and targeting your nasal passages. Then they lock on and fire those M15 stink missiles right up there and then you're your own worst enemy. You breathe in and you suck someone else's foul gas into your own lungs, which mixes in your own bloodstream. Someone dropping their lunch is like a dog marking their territory inside your body.

There's nothing worse than when someone goes to the toilet and leaves their utter stench of last nights meal behind them. Then, it always happens, they think they can make it all better by spraying some air freshener. Instead of making things better, they get worse. The air condition goes from unbearable to lethal. When the stench particles combine with the air freshener, it makes a deadly mask that seems to forever hang. Even napalm gas is better than this.

Overall, there are currently only seven commonly know types of flatulence around the world. The silentus fartius, showerus fartius, motorus fartius, explodius fartius, runnius fartius, squeakius fartius and the good old Dutch oven.

Humans are constantly known to evolve but what isn't mentioned is that the commonly known fart has also

evolved. Back in the days of good old England, there was only the petite fart.

But now those weaklings have evolved into such...


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