Turkey Trotten

Turkey Trotten

NARRATOR:   AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE THERE ARE TURKEYS GALORE. THE TURKEYS RANGE WIDELY IN SIZE AND BEAUTY FROM BEDRAGGLED TO BEDAZZLING. THE SEASON IS THE LAST OF NOVEMBER AND FOR SOME REASON NOT QUITE UNDERSTOOD BY THE TURKEYS THERE IS AN UNCERTAINTY IN THE AIR.

CHARACTER: DRAB TURKEY
                      FATSO TURKEY
                      ALBINO TURKEY
                      LOQUACIOUS TURKEY
                      SAGACIOUS TURKEY
                      TROTTON TURKEY

DRAB: THIS CLAIROL I USE ON MY TAIL IS REALLY NOT THE GREATEST. I CAN'T SEE THAT IT MAKES ME LOOK A DAY YOUNGER AND IT'S A MESS TO USE.

FATSO: IT'S NOT THE COLOR IN MY FEATHERS THAT CAUSES ME PROBLEMS. I HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM. EVERY KERNEL OF CORN I EAT CAUSES A NEW AND CONSPICUOUS BULGE. I ALREADY WALK WITH SUCH AN OBVIOUS WADDLE THAT THE GEESE THINK I AM ONE OF THEM!

ALBINO: I WATCH MY CALORIES AND STAY THIN, BUT A LOT OF GOOD THAT DOES. THE OTHER TURKEYS SHUN ME BECAUSE I'M WHITE, AND I DIDN'T ORDER MY FEATHERS THAT COLOR; THEY JUST CAME THAT WAY.

LOQUACIOUS: ARE YOU QUITE SURE THEY SHUN YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR COLOR OR IS IT BECAUSE OF THE "CHIP" YOU CARRY ON YOUR BACK? I NEVER SHUN YOU AND I TALK WITH YOU WHENEVER YOU GIVE ME HALF A CHANCE.

ALBINO:     YOU, YES. YOU TALK TO ANYONE--EVEN ME. THAT'S JUST BECAUSE YOU'D RATHER TALK THAN EAT!

LOQUACIOUS: THERE YOU GO AGAIN BEING DEFENSIVE. MOST PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO DEFEND THEIR REASON FOR TALKING TO YOU. I TALK TO YOU BECAUSE I LIKE TO. IT IS TRUE I LIKE TO TALK TO EVERYONE. IN FACT I WOULD RATHER TALK THAN EAT. ON THE OTHER HAND, WHY CAN'T YOU AND I CHAT WITHOUT YOUR LOOKING FOR SOME REASON OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF IN ORDER TO EXPLAIN WHY I SELECTED YOU TO TALK TO? IT LOOKS TO ME AS THOUGH YOU GO LOOKING FOR TROUBLE!

FATSO: YES, WHITEY. WHY DO YOU GO AROUND LOOKING FOR TROUBLE?

SAGACIOUS:   LET'S TALK ABOUT REAL PROBLEMS. HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT DURING THIS LAST WEEK IN NOVEMBER WE ARE FED LIKE...