Courting

“How old are you now beta3?” When asked by matronly aunts and other female relatives this seemingly innocent question takes on new meaning and can strike fear into the heart of a young, desi commitment-phobe like myself. Having completed my undergraduate studies a few years ago, I have found myself at the sharp-end of this particular question on numerous occasions in recent years. Experience has proven that it is used mainly as a means of kick-starting a conversation full of phrases like; “Haven’t you found yourself a girl yet?”, “When are you planning to get married?”, and (inevitably) “I know a really lovely girl that would be wonderful for you.”
It seems that Indian aunty-jis4 the world over enjoy attending weddings so much that they try to ensure a steady future supply of invitations by trying to match-off all the young single men and women they know. Of course in their minds the best place for the process of match-making to begin is at weddings; not only is this a time when they are assured to meet lots of potential candidates amongst the large numbers of guests that usually attend Indian wedding celebrations, but it allows them to juxtapose the supposed misery of the single boy or girl against the obvious wedded bliss of the just-married couple and thus bring even more pressure to bear. (I must stress at this point that it is not only young men who come under fire and, if the anecdotes I have heard from female friends and relatives are anything to go by, young women are under as much, if not more, pressure to accept a match with a ‘suitable’ boy.)