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Modern Family 1x01 Pilot Claire : Kids, breakfast! Kids? Phil, would you get them? Phil : Yeah, just a sec. Claire : Kids! Phil : That is so,.. Claire : Okay... Phil : Kids, get down here! Haley : Why are you guys yelling at us, when we're way upstairs, just text me. Claire : Alright, That's not gonna happen, and, wow, you're not wearing that outfit. Haley : What's Wrong with it? Claire : Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter... about her skirt? Phil : Sorry? Oh yeah, that looks really cute sweetheart! Haley : Thanks! Claire : No, it's way to short, people know you're a girl, you don't need to prove it to them. Alex : Luke got his head stuck in the banister again. Phil : I got it. Where's the baby oil? Claire : It's on our bedside tip... I Don't know, find it. Come on! Claire : I... was out of control growing up, there, you know, i said it. I...I, I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes i made. If Haley never would exhibit on a beach in Florida, half naked... I've done my job. Phil : Our job. Claire : Right... I've done our job. Gloria : Bravo Manny! Kick it! Kick it! Manny go! No! That was a penalty! Jay : Gloria, there Owen's six, Let's take it down a notch.

Gloria : We're, very different. He's from the city. He has big business. I come from a small village, very poor, but very very beautiful. It's the number one village in North-Columbia for all the... what's the word? Jay : Murders. Gloria : Yes, the murders. Gloria : Manny, stop him! Stop him! Boy : Dammit, manny! Mom : Come on, coach! You've gotta take that kid out! Gloria : You wanna take him out? How about I take you out!? Jay : Honey, honey... Gloria : Why don't you worry about your son! He's spend the first half with his hands in his pants! Josh : I've wanted to tell her that for the last six weeks... I'm Josh, Ryan's dad. Gloria : Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett... Manny's mother. Josh : Oh, this must be your dad. Jay : Her dad? Uh, no, no, that's funny. Actually no, I'm her...