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Life as a river ain't easy, especially when you start from an glacier which refuses to stop melting. Ganges here, River Ganges . . . I figure you might have heard of me sometime or the other. And yes, I am openly envied by all my other river-sisters. They’re pretty jealous actually, thinking of me as perennial, and never ending and all that rubbish. Well let’s get something straight like a strait, life as a river ain’t easy.

I’m old, let me tell you that. So old that I forgot when I began, and I don’t forget. I remember when the President took a nice cruise over me in 2009. I can tell you that it was 29th August. Well enough of that, now where were we? Yeah, I’m old. I began when several glaciers started melting. I had fresh water, and a faint smell of lilies were all there was to me. All along my banks, civilization began, trees grew, houses were built, families were made, and myths about me were told to one and all. I was worshipped by almost everyone. And that’s when it got horrible. I began to get bathed in; they thought that by bathing in me, they’d get “pure” souls and “peaceful” courses to Heaven. All the good it did them, they could’ve just taken a bath with normal water. They sure were satisfied with themselves, but I, I was left to accept murky, sweaty, disgusting human bodies dousing themselves in me, and occasionally, defecating in me. But still, no one cared, and the other rivers, they only got more envious. They thought I was lucky that I got all the attention and said they’d trade places with me ANY day. Yeah, like I wouldn’t kill for that. Eventually, I had several marine animals and plants wishing to reside in my waters. And I didn’t mind it much. I would love to have some sort of company in my waters. Then came another phase; humans began to wash clothes and their cattle in me. I mean yeah, I could handle them, they were hardly ever that dirty, but really, clothes and animals? I was just awestruck. When people washed their clothes, so much...