No Peace

Peace, something I have searched for within myself, other people, and substances. I have

had peace in my life don’t get me wrong, but never in a sustainable and healthy way.  

Throughout my life I have found many things that bring me peace, but the peace always find a

way out of my life. It seems like a never ending search to me, but I keep on keeping on..

I used to find peace with in my family, at least untill my parents got divorced.

Unfortunately they got divorced when I was five so that peace was not longed lived. From the

time of the divorce untill I was eighteen I   moved at least fifteen times never staying in one place

for more then a year until fifth grade. I had a big family living together back then consisting of

me, my mom, two brothers, three uncles, my grandma, and grandpa. With all of us living

together there was rarely a peaceful second let alone a peaceful time. It seems like everyone was

always mad at someone else and we were always fighting. We had to many people with too

many problems forpeace to be found in anything.

Amid my search for peace I found drugs. Drugs never let me down, they never left me,

and they never fought with me they made me happy plain and simple. I could have gotten shot

while I was on drugs and been completely happy with it. It took a friend committing suicide

under the influence, a best friend overdosing and passing away, 2 other best friends overdosing

and living, watching my mom continuously fighting prescription drug addiction, and me getting

arrested for drugs and put on probation to realize drugs were not worth it. I was wrong about

drugs the peace they brought me only lasted as long as the drugs were in my system.   Needless to

say I quit doing drugs and I do not miss the fake peace they brought me.

I looked for peace in my past relationships with my girlfriends always let down with the

fact that it never lasts. I can always find the...