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"Emilio Marco Palma was the first person born in Antarctica in 1978." - Jeffryma

Gone Buggy!

  • Date Submitted: 01/28/2010 03:21 AM
  • Flesch-Kincaid Score: 60.3 
  • Words: 595
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I enrolled in an entomology course offered by the University of Maryland.   I knew that a few science credits couldn't do any harm and, thinking logically, I thought, a memory course should mean a fairly easy grade.   So, armed with pen, notepaper, and an expensive, thin textbook that should have been bound in Morocco leather, but wasn't; I confidently reported to my first class.

    The first hour we reviewed the course syllabus and my flawless logic about an easy memory course was soon shattered.

    "As you can see," said the instructor, "fifty percent of your grade constitutes a collection of at least twenty different insects from at least ten different orders."

    "You have to be kidding!" I exclaimed, jokingly.

    "Not in the least," retorted the professor.   "In fact, you can receive extra credit if you can also bring a spider or a centipede to class."   He added, almost as an afterthought, "I hope you didn't think this course would be all memory work."

    "Oh, of course not, sir," I said as I slumped down at the desk in a mild state of shock.

    I could visualize myself traipsing through the countryside, butterfly net in hand, capturing all kinds of creeping, six-legged creatures.   I could sense the disgust I would probably feel when I killed the poor, wriggling things and, worse yet, stuck pins through their bodies to transfix the little beasts inside a collection box.   I mean, it just didn't seem right, and besides, people would see me running around like an idiot and would think that I was "buggy"!

    "This can't be happening to me," I thought, and grudgingly resigned myself to my fate as the smiling, bespectacled professor passed out collection boxes, bottles, and long, slender pins.

    Somewhat exasperated, I purchased a butterfly net the next afternoon and formulated a brilliant plan.   Shrewdly, I presented the net to my adoring seven-year-old daughter.

    "Please find me some...


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