My Career in the Wnba

I guess the politically correct thing to say is that I was unheralded as a player. The truth is I was awful. I was drafted by the New York Liberty as the last pick in the 2002 WNBA draft. My contract was terminated shortly after the draft because apparently The Liberty drafting me was due to a clerical error. Someone thought it would be funny. But to everyone’s surprise (everyone meaning the three people in Wahoo, Nebraska who follow the WNBA) I was signed by the Los Angeles Sparks. I played there for two years give or take. If you give one year and 10 months. But I liked LA. Met a lot of famous people. Sir Mix A Lot, MC Hammer, I had dinner with a Sean Penn look- alike and I played golf with John Fogerty. You know Fortunate Son, Creedence Clearwater Revival… You probably think of him as someone who likes to bite the head off of chickens and bats, but I tell ya he’s got a hell of a set of pipes on him and he can get it out of the sand trap like nobody’s business. But I digress. After my two month spell in LA I decided to take a break from playing pro basketball. Who am I kidding.. I didn’t take a break. No one wanted to sign me. And then New York came a calling. So they signed me again. I guess they didn’t believe how bad I was the first time around. I still believe it wasn’t all my fault. I mean I got a lot of bad press. Reporters… They always wrote about the game. And my work was done before and after the game. Making sure the towels are clean and stuff like that. I tried to better my relationship with them but nothing seemed to work. You know the Babe Ruth story? Babe Ruth went in a hospital to visit this sick kid. Babe promised him that he would hit a home rum for the kid. He did and the kid got better. So I tried to do that. I got this reporter with me, he took some photos I talked with the kid and I told him I’m gonna score 30 points tonight just for you. Of course I only scored two and the kid… The kid had a relapse. I did find out later that he was an out...